Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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