how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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