some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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