why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
