It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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