You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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