So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
