if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
