I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
