you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sorry about my life...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
