when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize