guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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