I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
