my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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