so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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