i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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