Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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