fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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