It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
