It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
