why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm passing your future prison.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
