wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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