There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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