Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
