I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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