I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
