Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
