I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
