You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
