I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We are two peas in an std pod
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
