plz talk dirty to me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
