You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
my poor anus
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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