Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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