We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
