Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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