That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
