people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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