return my video game
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
