I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
