my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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