1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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