Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
