her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
