if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
