I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
