my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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