I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
