I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
