i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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