2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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