whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
